I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
