so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
