i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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