Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
