i don't like sucking hair
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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