Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
