Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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