god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
