sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize