Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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