This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
