like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize