how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
