mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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