Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
