did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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