I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
