I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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