Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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