I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
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