I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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