I feel like abortions should bother me more
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
