Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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