Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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