When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
