We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
