There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize