Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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