can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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