3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
you never un-have a 4some
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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