That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
