I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
