dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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