Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
