Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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