Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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