Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
