They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
