SEEEEXXX PLEASE
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
