what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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