I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize