I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
