Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
