Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
And the cops told us we were all naked.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
