Me too!
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
