I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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