She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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