New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
