and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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