So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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