Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
