I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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