We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
