Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize