I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
