And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I understand Curling. That high.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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