I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
