Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
