I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
