He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
